My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
