News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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