your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
