His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
