I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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