In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
and you said cock pushups were impossible
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
