i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
