I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
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