I'm really into asian looking animals
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
