yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
