Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
two words...techno handjob
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think a kid would responsible me up
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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