if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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