For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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