When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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