He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
