I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
