My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
