I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize