Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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