So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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