All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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