So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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