No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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