It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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