Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
