i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
