Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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