I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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