the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
this boner is exhausting
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
