She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
FUCK WHALES
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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