theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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