so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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