I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
