Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
