I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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