We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I am naked and annoyed.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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