billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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