This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
