I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
