i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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