I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
