Whod you bang
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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