isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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