i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
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This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
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three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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