well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
