I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
