My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
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no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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