If that was your dad, he is hot
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
