the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
