well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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