she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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