stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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