He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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