No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
