He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
