Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
