i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
