I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
