it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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